There’s a lot of weight associated with the big 3–0. As if somehow life is supposed to be lined up and figured out. Regardless of how things look at 30, it’s a reminder that we’re meant to have a lived human experience; filled with happiness, sadness, trials, triumphs, and anything and everything in between. It makes us more relatable humans.
So, take these with a grain of Morton’s salt because while a ‘30 year old’ somehow suddenly sounds wiser than a ‘20 something year old,’ there’s a negligible difference between the two. But, these tidbits did help me ride out those testy twenties for one heck of a good ride.
- Get rid of the ‘destination illusion’ that happiness lives elsewhere. That happiness lives at your next goal, job, relationship, etc. Don’t defer your happiness or satisfaction until you get ‘there’ — because until you give up on the idea that happiness is somewhere else, it will never be where you are.
- Explore the outdoors. It’ll make you realize how immensely small both you + your problems are.
- Work hard to bridge the gaps in geography with those who matter.
- Tinker, travel, and take off to places you’re curious about. Tap into your curiosities about the world around you. Don’t live in the comfort of your own cultural cocoon to befriend only people that look like you and think like you.
- Learn to get comfortable in your own company. You’re less likely to feel lonely if you like who you’re alone with.
- Stumble through the world with openness.
- Look inward and ask yourself the hard questions. Put in the work to maintain your well-being and mental health. Seek a therapist to nudge you through this. It’s 2022, are you even ‘with it’ if you don’t have a therapist? But seriously, let go of stigma.
- Cruise control is good for your car, not your car-eer. Once you’re no longer challenged or stimulated, don’t stay just because it’s comfortable. That’s a surefire way to build resentment and complacency.
- Exercise your negotiating power so that you don’t leave money on the table. Know and believe in your worth.
- Go where you are wanted. Don’t waste energy trying to assert yourself into spaces.
- Don’t buy into diet culture. Do get a nutritionist, particularly one that specializes in intuitive eating. Not only will it equip you to avoid unwarranted keto evangelizers, but it’ll also equip you to better avoid body dysmorphia.
- Just because you’re self aware doesn’t mean you won’t fall privy to issues with self-esteem. Be compassionate with yourself.
- Exercise your body; move it, nourish it, cherish it. But don’t exercise as a punishment for your food. It’s the only vehicle you get for an entire lifetime. So fuel it and ride it while it’s agile.
- Learn to cook with seasonal produce. Make it fun. Make it colorful. Make it decadent and gourmet, or simple and easy. This is one of the most sustainable skills of self-service to ensure your health.
- Give yourself permission to revel in the simplicity of life like slow sips of coffee, leisurely strolls, long drives, and being still.
- Exercise your mind. If you don’t understand something — ask questions. Read into it. But watch what you consume and from who/ what source it's coming from.
- Don’t allow your job to become your entire identity. We’re all replaceable in our workplaces.
- Take risks even if they’re measured risks.
- Embrace change and stay fluid. It’s the only constant in life.
- Affirm what your emotional needs are but also your personal boundaries when it comes to dating.
- Listen to just listen, not to respond.
- Build out your vocabulary so that you articulate your feelings, ideas, and convictions. If you don’t understand a word, write it down and look it up later.
- If you’re feeling stagnant, recreate that part of your life. The beauty of having a lived human experience is that we can go back to the chalkboard. Take on a new job. Uproot. Redesign.
- Don’t hold back in your self-expression. Wear that dress. Rock those heels. Be your own muse. You ARE a work of art.
- Accept that you will drift away from friends whether by choice or life circumstances. Sometimes you’ll fall apart to fall back together later when you’re in similar seasons of life. And other times, a friendship will take its course and simply end.
- When people leave your life they’re making space for those who’ve yet to arrive. There are people you haven’t met yet who are wondering what it’d be like to know someone like you.
- Tap into taking on role reversal with your parents and care for them as they cared for your younger self.
- Hardships will test you in every capacity but they’ll also condition your resilience. There is beauty about those whose confidence comes from experiences; those who know they can fall, pick themselves up, and move on.
- Be brave enough to suck at something new — over and over again.
- The greatest adventure you can take is to live out the life of your dreams. So don’t push off your wildest dreams. Go and write out your best story.
